Connect or Die!

Mn State Get TogetherI was at the great Minnesota get together (a.k.a. state fair), enjoying the gobs of people, the explosion of aromas and the onslaught of visual colors that make this event such a great celebration.  With my closest friends, we ate everything from Reuben bites and fried pickles to cheese curds and thick malts. 

As we closed the evening, sipping the last of our mini-donut beverages, I scanned the faces of the people I love: a teacher, a police officer, a small business owner, a lawyer, a flight attendant, a home CEO, a worship leader and others.  My heart was full.  I couldn’t imagine doing life without this group.  We have seen each other through loss and pain and through success and joy.

Social scientists have done mountains of work on the benefits of connecting with other people on a life-giving level.  Research indicates that those who are not actively in or seeking other friendships (outside your immediate family unit) are 30% more likely to die earlier than the average person.

I guess that’s one of the reasons the writer or Hebrews says to not stop meeting with each other.

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” Hebrews 10:24-25.

Who are your closest pals?  In what ways can you continue gathering together?  What would it look like to let them know how grateful you are for them?


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059: Helping Your Kids Going Back To School Part 1 [Podcast]

going to school1.001Replay episode: School begins soon.  In my interview with life-coach, Tracey Steivang, give awesome tips to make this the best “back to school” you’ve had ever!  This is part one of a two-part interview.


058: One Problem For Leaders [Podcast]

credit: Kelly Robertson

credit: Kelly Robertson

Listening is one of the most important skills we can have and yet most of us, especially leaders, aren’t very good at doing so. How can you be a better listener to take your leadership to the next level?


When starting a conversation, a good beginning is to ask, “What is the end goal of our conversation?”  “What do you want to see happen?” and then to listen.

Problem:  Leaders tend to think we have all the answers.  When that happens we talk too much and we don’t listen enough.  

If you play that out, your team becomes completely dependant on you being able to solve their problems. 

Realistically, there are situations in which you have to be directive as a leader.  Depending on the industry, the project, but what would it look like to take a coach approach.  

What is a coach approach?  

Instead of talking 80% and listening 20%, what if we switched it around. 

What if we listened 80% and talked 20%.  

What does that look like?

A coach approach is simply helping uncover answers that they most likely already know but are afraid to move on.  

Questions to avoid:

‘Why’ Questions:  It can create feelings of failure and regret.  Then the solution side of your brain shuts down.  

Questions to ask:

Begin every question with ‘What’ or ‘How’.

What do you think?

How would that impact the client, market or product?




057: Who Is Driving Your Life? [Podcast]

who is driving your life.001Have you ever felt like your life was going in circles? Have you ever wanted to take control and make positive changes in your life?  Today, I’ll give you some advice that will help you take back your life.


Who is driving your life?  Is it you or someone else?

Invictus Poem:

“I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.”

– William Ernest Henley


You and I allow other people or even situations to drive our lives. 

Dan Miller talks about creating a transition plan.


  1. Identify where you want to go.
  2. Figure out where you are now.
  3. What are the obstacles in your way
  4. What is the first step that you need to take to get there

Remember, you have more control than you think!

This is where life-coaching comes in. Coaching is different from counseling.  Click here to find out more about Coaching.

Counseling is outside in. Coaching is inside out.


056:  Stop Worrying Now! [Podcast]

stop worrying now.001What do you find yourself worrying about?  Maybe there’s a situation right now that is causing you to lose sleep or make bad decisions as a leader.  How do you stop worrying?  Is it possible?  

Matthew 13: 

“The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. “

I believe that this is the soil in which most Christians live.  We are so hyper focused on whether out kids play every sport in the world or if we have all the toys that my neighbor does or am i wearing the latest and greatest.  And if there’s a gap in any area of my life, I worry about it. 

WORRY:  Old English meant

  • “to strangle.”
  • “to grasp by the throat with the teeth and lacerate” 
  • “to kill or injure by biting and shaking.”

This is the way wolves or dogs might attack sheep, for example.

There are times in my life when things are tough, change is in the air and I find myself being strangled by worry.  

Question: “What do you do when you are worried about something in your life?”

At the core of worry is another word you’re familiar with:  fear. 

Someone once said that “Worry is fear on the spin cycle.”

How to eliminate worry.

  • Decide not to worry. Easier said than done? The decision not to worry is much easier to make when we recognize worry for what it is and our worries for what they are.
  • Trust God to take care of you .

“Your heavenly Father knows that you need them.” Mathew 6:31, 32.

  • Live one day at a time .

Matthew 6:34:  “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”

Orel Hershiser, was asked what was the secret to his success.  Hershiser stated confidently that his success was focusing on only one pitch at a time.

And isn’t that what we pray in the Lord’s prayer?  “give us this day our daily bread.”  This day!