085: The Power Of Trust In Conversations And How To Build It [Podcast]

Have you ever been talking with someone and intuitively, you know their mind is somewhere else? Maybe it’s their eyes peering over your shoulder or something they say that doesn’t fit the current conversation? It’s irritating. Today, I share how to NOT be THAT person.


On This Episode:

Quote of the day:

“Engagement builds trust” – Todd Stocker

I want to do a podcast on multitasking because studies show that no one can actually multitask.

So why am I talking about this in regards to meeting with someone?

I know that you want to be fully present when you’re having a conversation.  Here’s why this is important.  Engagement builds trust.   And if you aren’t present and engaged in your conversation, whether you know it or not,  you are communicating to the other person they aren’t  important.

In business, the old saying is, “people do business with those they trust”.

I want to do business with people I trust.  I want to know that who they are and what they say is true.  I also want to know that when I’m talking with them, that they are engaged because if they are, that solidifies my trust in them.  They are fully present in the conversation and therefore, communicates that I matter to them and what I have to say is valuable.

So how can you communicate that you are truly present and engaged when you’re in conversation?

  1. Before you have a meeting with your staff person, take a minute or two to clear your mind so you could be present.  There are all kinds of little tricks for this.  Some use quick meditation skills, others close their eyes and imagine the persons face.

For me, it is a combination of two things.  One is I pray that God would keep me focused and two is I visualize a file folder with the person’s name on it and mentally I open it up in front of me.  I don’t  know why, but for me, it helps me prepare my mind to look into that person in a more focused way

2. Repeat keywords.  If I find myself drifting, this is especially helpful.  Ask a second question about something they just said.  I did a whole podcast on this in episode 76.  Toddstocker.com/076.   Finally, and this is the most important, I engage in the conversation, using a coach approach.  I

3. Finally, and this is the most important, I engage in the conversation, using a coach approach.  I simply force myself to do less talking, more questioning and more engaged listening.

Most people listen for you to take a breath so that they can share what they want to share.  There are times for that.  But mostly, I stay in the conversation — where they are — and I just stay curious.  Curious about where the conversation will lead — curious about what the person needs, wants and values, and curious about how God may use their experience or my experience to come to the next step for them.

This week’s homework:
Keep engaged in conversations and don’t rush to the conclusion.


RESOURCES: